In light of the looming holiday season, I figured it was time to dedicate a few minutes to think about those things in my life that I am thankful for. Not because I want to create a brag list about how perfect my life is (it isn't) or because its almost Thanksgiving so its obligatory. For me, this is more of a needed reminder - in the midst of this chaotic, exhausting valley of recent weeks, there is so much to be thankful for.
I am thankful for my family.
For my parents, who are letting us invade their home while we hang out in limbo for another month until getting our own place. They haven't said a word about us overtaking their space with piles of baby toys/gear/clothes and filling their garbage with an endless stream of diapers. For being there to help with the kiddos and for taking turns bouncing my screaming babe for hours on end.
For my sister, who has been a load of help during this crazy time of me not being to full function (or any function). Driving Josiah to school, letting us invade her space and sharing lunch.
For my cousin and a dear friend - who both have driven me to Fargo for appointments for myself and Delia, dropped their days to be here helping me and reminding me this won't last forever.
For Josiah. We have been blessed with such an amazing boy! He is so incredibly smart, perfectly healthy, and has a great sense of humor. He melts my heart when he gets so excited about certain Bible stories or hears something that reminds him of one of his verses he memorized at school. He sings his heart out and loves to dance.
For Eden. We've had her home for just over a year now - and I am constantly in awe of her even being alive, much less being so incredible. Her life and her perfect health is a blessing beyond words. She entered this world about the size of her current 'hambone'! She looks out the window across the room and chuckles at the birds - reminding me that her eyes are perfect! She hears every tiny noise. She is THISCLOSE to walking on her own two feet, with her own chubby legs! I am just in awe of how powerful God has shown Himself to be through every battle He's brought her through.
For Hannah. I don't know how one can be thankful for the loss of their child, and I still have many days where I ask God those BIG questions. But I am so thankful for what she has taught me. About cherishing your children. About faith. About Heaven. Losing her brought me to the book "Safe in the Arms of God". If you haven't read it, please do. I am thankful for the months I got to spend with her in my tummy and every crazy kick and summersault. I am thankful for the minutes I got to hold her tiny body after she had already been given a healthy Heavenly body. I am thankful for all that I KNOW God is going to do in our lives having brought us through this experience. I am thankful for my sweet little boy who often talks about his Hannah in Heaven. For my chubby-faced Eden, who daily gives me a glimpse at how beautiful Hannah is right now.
For Delia. I am so thankful for this surprise in our life. God gave us this one child with no struggle with my fertility issues. One child we didn't wait years for, didn't cry over not being able to have on our time table, didn't need to have medicines or medical procedures to have. There she was. I am so thankful for one last pregnancy, with minor complications. One last round of baby kicks and wiggles in my belly. One last new baby cry fresh from the womb. I am so thankful that she came to us healthy and huge ;) And I am thankful for every smile and coo that I am catching in her good moments. I am thankful for the hours when the only place she will sleep is on my chest.
The list goes on. Of course, I am thankful for the standard things. We have food, shelter, income, family, friends and the majority of us have good health. We live in a country where we have good doctors for those of us that need them ;) I am thankful that even with all of the chaos and uncertainty surrounding this recent move, we are close to friends and family - and our nieces and nephew especially, so we can be closer to them watching them speed out of childhood.
I am thankful for my God, who is far Bigger and more powerful than anything I am facing or will face in the future. I am thankful for His love, His forgiveness and the evidence of His miracles in my life. But perhaps if I had to pinpoint one of His qualities which I am currently most thankful for (is that possible?) - right now it is that His arms are strong enough to carry me through anything. He gives me another ounce of energy when a child needs me and I am beyond exhaustion. He puts people around me to be strong when I can't - drive when I can't, hold my babies when I can't, etc. He has carried me and this family of mine through so much already, and I know He will carry me through this season as well. And OH, the peak after this valley!!! I can only imagine what is in store :)
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