On the eve of 25...

Tomorrow is the *big day*. If you ask Josiah, he will quickly tell you that I am going to turn 24. I have brainwashed my child from a very young age to believe that mommies never get older than 25. For a time I even instructed him that mommies could then get younger again, but he took that too far and soon I would be younger than he was, so it just didn't work. I'm okay with that - I can be 24 forever. The problem comes when I now have to actually think about how old I am going to be because I am so used to saying 24 all of the time. Oops!
I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday. Turning 25 (the first time) was really hard on me. For some reason when you are in your early twenties, you seem to think you are invincible to aging. The big 2-5 meant I was no longer in my early twenties - and rather, I was approaching 3-0 and that was just NOT okay. Thirty has always seemed so old (shudder). The age where you stop being young and fun and start wearing mom jeans and old lady reeboks, no longer able to do childish things like play Super Mario and shop at Old Navy. There must be a certain age where it will no longer be appropriate for me to buy jeans at American Eagle; where I must stop preferring clothes from the juniors section and cross over into misses. I wonder if at that magical age, the large supply of holiday sweater/turtlenecks/bedazzled sweatshirts suddenly looks appealing? I never want to get to that age! I know, 40 is the new 20, and so on, but that doesn't make it any more appealing to me!

Last time I turned 25.

I will never forget the day - about two years ago - when Steve and I were looking through old photo albums and he said "wow, you look so young in this picture!". Yep, he actually said that, darling husband of mine. I panicked! How did my skin start looking old? I immediately went to purchase a few great anti-aging or age-reversing creams! He'll never live down the comment, but I have received compliments on the skin since then, so it might have been worth it. Only a little.
On the other hand, I love my birthday. I love cake and candles (yep, still do!) and going out for a nice dinner, doing something fun in honor of my being born. My one selfish day where its okay to make things about me. Its nice to be pampered! But I am still such a kid at heart in this regard. I don't know that I will ever grow out of the need for the birthday cake and blowing out candles. Its just plain FUN, and there has always been something almost magical about that moment. Opening presents isn't nearly as big of a deal at this point, especially with a birthday so close to Christmas - but the surprise aspect is still fun.

Josiah's 3rd Birthday

Eden's First Birthday

Steve's 29th

This is why I try to make birthdays so magical for my kids. I want them to have this big, awesome day where we just celebrate only them. We go into Josiah's bedroom to wake him up with his birthday muffins with a candle burning in it, singing happy birthday to him. We let him open one present right away - before rushing around to start our day. We let him pick the theme of the party - and I get just about the same thrill as he does picking out all of the matching stuff. I make a cake to go with it - and I'm not talking the cake in the pan with candles. I'm talking 3-D Lightning McQueen style. Its just SO much fun to make a big deal out of them. Not that we should only do that once a year, but on their birthdays especially, we make a point to go all out.

Josiah's 4th Birthday

Steve is out of town for my birthday this year and I'm pouting about that just a *little*. It kind of takes some of the fun out of it for me, even though I know we'll be celebrating later. But maybe what I miss is the little kid part of the birthday, where everything is over-the-top and magical, and you just can't sit still all day in school because you know you'll get to pass out your cupcakes and play 7-up just after lunch and then your little friends are coming over for your party! All of it is just too much and you bounce off the walls all day in anticipation.
I'm pretty sure when the blasted 3-0 comes for me, it will be done at Chuck E. Cheese with Rainbow Bright plates and matching napkins. And balloons. LOTS of balloons.