You say Yes, I say No, You say Stop, I say Go: Communication Breakdown

Lately, things have been a little [understatement] frustrating with my dear and darling [monster child], high spirited child, Eden. Considering her rocky start, we knew that we might encounter some road bumps in her development, but hadn't really dealt with any. Sure, she didn't walk on her first birthday, but she was still walking by the time she was corrected to 12 months (way ahead of her older brother's timeline, I might add!). And sure, she hated textured foods in her mouth at first, but we gave her a brownie and some ice cream, and she's loved food ever since. She might need glasses once she turns three, but they make cute glasses, and she is loving the sunglasses we are buying her to practice with now, so in the big scheme of things this is really no big deal.

What is starting to be a big deal, however? Eden is not talking. Pretty much not communicating AT ALL. She is 20 months old now, and while they still would adjust her age a little bit, I think they would only adjust it to like 18 months or so? Not quite the full 4 months as they would before.. So still. She should be saying words. By this age Josiah was saying sentences. Comparisons aside, Eden herself is going backwards. a couple months back she was signing more words than she is now. She would tell me what she wanted when she wanted something - signing "please eat" when she was hungry, or "please milk" when she was thirsty... now she signs "please" nearly all day long and if you cannot immediately figure out what it is that she wants, she launches into tantrums. I'm not talking mild crying. I'm talking lying prone on the floor screaming, following you from room to room and then returning to her position on the floor if again you don't figure it out when she signs the word "please". At the very least she used to point. Not any more. Its freaking me out. 

And you can tell that Eden is getting more frustrated to. You can tell that Eden knows exactly what it is she is trying to communicate and she is upset that she can't. She is so smart and yet these words are just trapped somehow it seems. I'd like to throw my own tantrum about it, just a little...

We meet with the early intervention teacher through the school district but not specifically with a speech therapist, which is what I think Eden needs. Yet, for whatever reason, its so hard for me as a parent to have that voice. Or maybe I just need to be putting my foot down about it. The problem is its a tiny team and you have to work with all of them, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in doing so - which is totally unavoidable. But this communication thing is beyond frustrating for me - and clearly for Eden. 

And honestly, its raising the level of frustration in the house. When I have to listen to and struggle with a screaming toddler all day long and try to play mind reader, I will be the first to admit it makes me snap quicker at Josiah. Thats not fair at all, not one bit. Its not his fault she is struggling. Its not his fault I am struggling. But I can't figure her out. 

And her is what really gets me. She will repeat animal sounds - but only a couple. She will quack like a duck, but no longer will she sign duck. She will no longer sign pig, or say oink. She will sign chicken. She will say moo. She will sign puppy but will not repeat the barking noise or the word puppy/dog. She will say "baaa" but will not sign/say sheep. She will still not repeat any sounds after me or steve. She will, however, say "choo choo" when she hears a train go by or when she is playing trains with Josiah. She will say "voom" when she hears a loud car or when she is playing cars with Josiah. ONE time, Josiah got her to repeat "mamama" but it was not intentional as my name (ie she had no idea/did not direct it at me, etc).. It was SO exciting that she was talking!! I was thrilled!!! But these words are NOT communicative words! They do not help me know what she wants or what she needs or how to make her stop screaming!

One of the speech therapists had said that once kids reach the age of two, they start to worry if there aren't sentences forming, etc.... we are only 4 months away from that... and people keep telling me "but she is a preemie" - but at the age of 2 they don't adjust for that any more, she is just 2... and either way, somehow, I need to be able to communicate with her. Clearly, she understands things. She can follow instructions, she knows her shapes, she can point to "her letter" on a shirt or the magnet on the fridge, etc. She is such a smart kid. But somehow, those words need to come out. Help!!

Once a Month Cooking As Defined by Me

I have been dreaming about doing this for a few years now. Several years back, a friend and I would visit a store in Rochester (www.dishituprochester.com) where you can select recipes from their monthly menu, prepare the meals from their stocked/prepped stations with their dishes, load up all of these wonderfully yummy packaged meals into your laundry basket, wash your hands, leave the mess for them and go home and load them into your freezer. We'd have meals for a month - and NO stress! It was such a freeing thing to come home from work knowing that we didn't have to deal with the question of what to do about dinner because something was waiting to be popped in the oven or taken out of the crockpot, etc.
I started researching cookbooks on the topic, thinking I could just do this myself at home. The problem I ran into is that the books I found were filled with recipes I knew my family would never eat. Never did it dawn on me that  you didn't necessarily need special recipes just because you were freezing something. There might just be a few certain things you shouldn't freeze.. Fast forward to now.. I have less free time, and yet somehow more mind wandering time if that makes sense? Tami is in dire need of a project! I am going out of my mind not having a massive undertaking (not that raising these three tykes isn't massive, I can attest to that!!)... But I need something to research, plan, make lists, etc.. So I add on a few side jobs if you will, and this happens to be one of them. I started checking out a few different blogs of other moms that do once a month cooking (OAMC). It took quite a while to stumble upon good ones, but once I did, it was a gold mine of good information and so far, great recipes. Even better, because they are also moms of young kids, they also share recipes that are kid-friendly, which is very helpful.
So whats the plan? Well, if you are organized, like I intended to be, you set out all of your information first. Gather the recipes, create the master shopping list based off of that, and get the shopping trip out of the way prior to cooking day. Some people shop well in advance, depending on pay periods, etc. Some do it the night before, if you have a certain weekend set aside for cooking perhaps. For me, things got crazy. This was the weekend when I had said it had to happen and it was Sunday AFTER church and it still hadn't happened, so Steve was getting groceries at like 4pm. But whatever works ;) They also say to start small - like with 6 meals or so. We went a bit beyond that - but the beauty is that you can multiply things easily, especially by taking things that are meant for 13x9 pans and putting them in 8x8s if that is better suited for your family (like it is for mine right now)... which is not only more economical, but also means more variety. By the time you eat the same leftovers for the third night in a row, everyone is bored of it!
They say to plan the cooking day to be like an 8 hour marathon - to wear good shoes and have something planned for the kids. I forgot to wear shoes, and I regretted that later. Do make arrangements for the kids though - you'll get things done faster and they will have way more fun! We only spent about 5 hours cooking - and that included Steve making a few extra trips to the store because he forgot a few things on the list ;)
Okay - so here is what we made (enough rambling Tami, get to the good stuff!!):
1. Sour Cream Noodle Bake (recipe here: Pioneer Woman). This recipe is Fabulous! My additions: GARLIC! I LOVE garlic, so I add heaps of minced garlic to just about anything. I added extra chopped green onion too, but otherwise, it was her recipe. OH - and as with anything that goes into a 9x13, I put this into 2 8x8 pans. It heated nicely - as with anything from the freezer, allow extra cooking time. I put a sticky label on my containers and put how much time I thought things would take (the first time through is going to be all guess work - I left a blank spot on my actual recipes to write the truth!)... This one took about 40 minutes I think.. YUM. And pretty kid friendly ;)

Add caption

2. Mexican Verde Casserole (Once a Month Mom). And YUM again. This one kind of had me nervous. When you put it together it looks blah and green and blah. But wow its yummy! I cheated on this one - the recipe involves her making her own salsa verde - I bought some. She also cooked chicken breasts and then cubed them. The price was actually more expensive for raw chicken the day I was at the store, so I bought the frozen cooked/cubed stuff. Hey - it was going to be cubed and frozen anyway! Skip a step! You will be so pleasantly surprised with it though. Try it. And again - two 8x8 pans.
3. Grown up Mac-n-Cheese (SweetAnnas). This is Annalise's Spicy Baked Mac-n-Cheese which Josiah has now labeled Grown up Mac - he claims it isn't for kids, but other kids have tried it and liked it, so have yours give it a try ;) The only change I made to this recipe to make it a complete meal in a dish is to again add another bag of that wonderful frozen cubed grilled chicken breast to it before scooping all of this cheesy goodness into the 8x8 pans to cool before freezing. This recipe quickly became a favorite in our house. LOVE.
4. Four pounds of ground chuck became this: Meatballs and Meatloaves. I mixed it all up with the same recipe (adding a ton of garlic!). Then one pound became Greek Meatloaf - add greek seasoning, half a jar of salsa, and a small container of feta cheese. Save the other half of the salsa for when you are ready to bake. Easy! Another pound was left as regular meatloaf which will be an E-Mealz recipe getting a sauce when we bake it - its brown sugar, vinegar and mustard.. These were both made into small loaves - two per 8x8 pan - you pull them out of the freezer the night before you want to make them, then bake for about 40 minutes. The remaining 2 pounds were rolled into meatballs and baked. We cooled them and divided them into meal sized portions and bagged them. We will then use them for spaghetti, meatballs and gravy, etc. Easy!
5. WAY Easy!! Ranch Chicken Strips: Raw chicken tenders (don't use chicken breasts, they are not nearly as yummy!) dredged in buttermilk ranch and then firmly pressed in crushed sour cream and onion potato chips. (Do NOT use the baked kind! Sounds healthy, but we've tried it, and they don't work, not sure why)... Its super easy, and while it might not be fat free, they are not nearly as processed as those fake nuggets the kids might get from the freezer section, so they love 'em and I feel slightly better serving them ;) You can layer these in a freezer container with wax paper - then just pull out however many you need, bake at 400 degrees for about 6-7 minutes on each side. YUM.

Doesn't sit still, but loves lunch ;)

cheap vacuum seal!

6. Homemade Easy Mac: (Once A Month Mom) This one made me nervous because every attempt I had made at homemade mac had been disastrous (prior to Sweet Anna's above).. But I dug in because I hate how much Josiah begs for me to buy Easy Mac - even though I have only bought it for him ONCE and also because I hate the fact that every time I make macaroni and cheese, I put the powder in and hate thinking about whats in the powder. So lets just learn how already Tami! It was super easy, even though I didn't have the patience to wait for it to thicken, I did. And these are incredibly yummy, though I'm not big on plain mac-n-cheese. Tip - use a light colored muffin pan. For some reason, the one pan I had that was dark got too hot and the liners got way soggy. The solution in my head would be to use those ultra strong tinfoil liners, but then you couldn't microwave the cups after freezing them... maybe double line the pans if you've only got dark pans? Also, I put a couple drops of milk on the cups before I heat them up just to make sure they stay extra creamy. The kids scarfed these down though!

finishing dessert!

8. Poptarts: (Once A Month Mom) This scared me, but these were so easy I almost hate to include it here! You could make your own pie crust and your own filling and then you'd have a hard recipe I suppose ;) But buy refrigerated pie crust, cut it in squares, put in some preserves (use healthy stuff -ha!), seal, bake, cool, flash freeze and bag! I skipped the icing and they loved them anyway :)
9. French Toast Sticks: (Once A Month Mom) I almost went with her sneaky chef toddler version, but thought I should try the standard fare first ;) These are yummy. I used a huge loaf of texas toast so that they would be sturdy - which also meant i tripled her recipe off the bat, but thats okay, considering how quickly my kiddos will eat them!
10. Garlic Bread: (Life As Mom) There really isn't much to say about this. Instead of paying $3 per loaf to have a few on hand, I can pay $2 to make 3 loaves to have on hand in my freezer. Its a pretty good deal. And it tastes better because I can load it up with more garlic. mmmm Garlic.....

The Third Time's the Charm

Ahh, this one... our surprise. After nearly a solid two months of feeling like junk, and my doctor scratching his head when his tests came back normal, I finally took a pregnancy test because I had one left over for whatever reason. Knowing that we "didn't get pregnant without intervention" and "had no medical need for birth control" we hadn't rushed to get back on the pill after the girls were born. We were waiting to see how the endometriosis would play out to see if I would end up going back on it or not since we weren't using it for actual birth control in the first place. Let me just say this: I had been pumping for several months and had one very sketchy i-wouldn't-even-call-it-a-period period since giving birth. And the test came back positive. Steve was outside and I pounded on the window and slammed the test up to the window and made him come over to see it. Well crap. How in the world does that even happen? (yes, folks, I get the birds and the bees. My birds and bees aren't supposed to work that way!)
It gets better. I called my OB the next day to let him know I had taken the test. The nurse said not to worry, that there was no way I could be more than 5 or 6 weeks since I just thought to take a test. I said, well, I haven't had a period in months having just had a baby, etc. She went to speak with my doctor and called me back and they got me in the next day instead of at the end of the month. Well duh. We went in to this appointment and I was expecting to see the little peanut on the screen, but I suppose I knew better. There she was, fully formed - 12.5wks already. OOPS! I had just missed my entire first trimester. A bit further and I could have been on the "I didn't know I was pregnant" show. Just a week later and they could tell us that we were having another girl! We were just in panic mode the entire time. A state of constant shock. At this point we were still taking Eden to frequent doctor visits herself and I was barely back to work. Pretty funny stuff God! ;) (side note - the actual due dates were 10 months apart!)
This pregnancy was pretty smooth though. We were monitored like a freak show again, of course, so we got all kinds of pictures and of course I got shots every week in the bum to prevent preterm labor. Because of the classical/transverse cut (the up and down cut) on the uterus prior, they would not let me go past 36 weeks in this pregnancy, so we had a c-section scheduled for 36 weeks. I actually ended up in the hospital at 34w4d with contractions and when they didn't slow down and nothing changed by the time we got to 35weeks, they decided she was ready to come. They couldn't send me home in that condition, and she was eager to come out it appeared. They also couldn't keep NOT feeding me "just in case!". BOO! so lets just do this already!
Prior to this, My OB had arranged a consultation between me and the anesthesiologist who would be working with the team during the procedure (since it was scheduled, he knew who was on call). I walked him through the horror story of Josiah's birth and the repeated pokes by the student, and then having to be put under with the twins, and I said I needed some options so this would not happen again. We talked through a whole list of things that he could do so that being put under would only happen if there was an emergency - but there were so many other things to try first, I knew that wouldn't happen. And he assured me there would be no students allowed. Its a teaching hospital, but you can request that there not be a student, and I didn't know that the first time around. I felt SO much better! And he did a total exam of my spine and made all kinds of notes so he knew going into it what he would need to be looking for too. Peace!! Even better - he happened to be on even though we went a week earlier than planned :)
So the whole team came into our room to talk with us before the operation. It was a Saturday night - very slow on the floor. This is a group of people that I have known for a few years - isn't that weird? I could name them for you, but it wouldn't mean anything to you, I suppose. They know me on a first name basis - they were students when I started, now they have moved on to being fellows or chief residents or whatever, and then the actual staff physicians, they all know me personally. I love that feeling! And here we were all just chatting and laughing so comfortably around the hospital bed talking about the procedure before they prepped me and took me down. One last time making sure I knew what was going to happen. Tubes being tied? Check! Spinal? Check! Give me the warm blankets and I'm set! What an amazing difference from the previous experiences I'd had.
The OR was the same atmosphere. The spinal went in on the FIRST TRY. I don't remember any pain at all. I'm sure it hurt, but I blocked it out or something. It took instantly! Praise God for that. They laid me down and the laughs began. Seriously, this was just the best time you could imagine being had in an OR. Probably people have had better, but it was great. Maybe that was after the baby was out and the important stuff was over, probably, now that I think about it..

Delia Grace 8.28.2010 

Steve checking the measurements

We decided on her name just shortly before being wheeled down. We tossed around so many names and finally this came out of left field - Delia Grace. But by the Grace of God! She came into this world 5 weeks early weighing in at a hefty 6 pounds, 11 ounces!!! 19 inches long... and the best part?? Breathing all on her own! I keep telling my doctor he may have been off on those dates, but he is certain he wasn't - she is just that big. (And I suppose if you look at her now, he's probably right). She was chubby and beautifully red when I kissed her. Steve immediately left my side and went to love on her and snap pictures and I got the amazing nurses to cover me with the warm blankets and make me laugh while the tubes were tied. I think she asked me at least 5 times before she went and actually tied them. It was just a bunch of girls left in the OR and it was maybe the drugs or maybe it was just being giddy about never being pregnant again? but I remember it being fun... strange.
The best part about that night was that because because she was doing so well, they let me snuggle with her in the recovery room for over an hour before she had to go up to the level 2 nursery for the night. She had these amazing cheeks, even then, you just wanted to squeeze them.  She was trying so hard to open her eyes and stare but she was so sleepy - you could see her fighting it.  And such a relief after my most recent experience - having the spinal this time - I had pain meds flowing through me and I could just enjoy her! LOVED this time with her!

Snuggling with my fresh babe

From there, she spent 10 days in the nursery because she was a pretty lazy eater.... it was rather frustrating just because she was a full sized baby and it was so hard to fathom why on earth she wasn't walking out the door with us! But she eventually got her act together and clearly got the eating thing figured out ;)
The moral of the story? You live and learn I suppose. But perhaps even more so, you really must learn that life doesn't always work out the way you want it to. There are so many things that we don't end up having control over - the way our kids come into this world might end up being one of them, and HA - our child spacing just might end up being another! For my second delivery, I didn't have the opportunity to have input or make any choices - it was an emergency situation and those choices get made for you by people that you just have to trust at the time. I'm glad that I didn't fight that, as stubborn as I am. But for my third delivery - I'm glad that I did ask questions and get certain things done differently. It was a much more peaceful experience than the first go-round, and I wish I would have known what questions to ask going in to the first one.

PS - I feel a bit guilty that Delia doesn't have a lengthy story.... but I suppose its a good thing that hers isn't as drama-filled as the previous one was, right? This one was really smooth sailing. We literally got through the pregnancy in shell shock and then the delivery was a dream. She has, however, made sure that she has a voice amidst the chaos of our family ;)