You say Yes, I say No, You say Stop, I say Go: Communication Breakdown

Lately, things have been a little [understatement] frustrating with my dear and darling [monster child], high spirited child, Eden. Considering her rocky start, we knew that we might encounter some road bumps in her development, but hadn't really dealt with any. Sure, she didn't walk on her first birthday, but she was still walking by the time she was corrected to 12 months (way ahead of her older brother's timeline, I might add!). And sure, she hated textured foods in her mouth at first, but we gave her a brownie and some ice cream, and she's loved food ever since. She might need glasses once she turns three, but they make cute glasses, and she is loving the sunglasses we are buying her to practice with now, so in the big scheme of things this is really no big deal.

What is starting to be a big deal, however? Eden is not talking. Pretty much not communicating AT ALL. She is 20 months old now, and while they still would adjust her age a little bit, I think they would only adjust it to like 18 months or so? Not quite the full 4 months as they would before.. So still. She should be saying words. By this age Josiah was saying sentences. Comparisons aside, Eden herself is going backwards. a couple months back she was signing more words than she is now. She would tell me what she wanted when she wanted something - signing "please eat" when she was hungry, or "please milk" when she was thirsty... now she signs "please" nearly all day long and if you cannot immediately figure out what it is that she wants, she launches into tantrums. I'm not talking mild crying. I'm talking lying prone on the floor screaming, following you from room to room and then returning to her position on the floor if again you don't figure it out when she signs the word "please". At the very least she used to point. Not any more. Its freaking me out. 

And you can tell that Eden is getting more frustrated to. You can tell that Eden knows exactly what it is she is trying to communicate and she is upset that she can't. She is so smart and yet these words are just trapped somehow it seems. I'd like to throw my own tantrum about it, just a little...

We meet with the early intervention teacher through the school district but not specifically with a speech therapist, which is what I think Eden needs. Yet, for whatever reason, its so hard for me as a parent to have that voice. Or maybe I just need to be putting my foot down about it. The problem is its a tiny team and you have to work with all of them, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings in doing so - which is totally unavoidable. But this communication thing is beyond frustrating for me - and clearly for Eden. 

And honestly, its raising the level of frustration in the house. When I have to listen to and struggle with a screaming toddler all day long and try to play mind reader, I will be the first to admit it makes me snap quicker at Josiah. Thats not fair at all, not one bit. Its not his fault she is struggling. Its not his fault I am struggling. But I can't figure her out. 

And her is what really gets me. She will repeat animal sounds - but only a couple. She will quack like a duck, but no longer will she sign duck. She will no longer sign pig, or say oink. She will sign chicken. She will say moo. She will sign puppy but will not repeat the barking noise or the word puppy/dog. She will say "baaa" but will not sign/say sheep. She will still not repeat any sounds after me or steve. She will, however, say "choo choo" when she hears a train go by or when she is playing trains with Josiah. She will say "voom" when she hears a loud car or when she is playing cars with Josiah. ONE time, Josiah got her to repeat "mamama" but it was not intentional as my name (ie she had no idea/did not direct it at me, etc).. It was SO exciting that she was talking!! I was thrilled!!! But these words are NOT communicative words! They do not help me know what she wants or what she needs or how to make her stop screaming!

One of the speech therapists had said that once kids reach the age of two, they start to worry if there aren't sentences forming, etc.... we are only 4 months away from that... and people keep telling me "but she is a preemie" - but at the age of 2 they don't adjust for that any more, she is just 2... and either way, somehow, I need to be able to communicate with her. Clearly, she understands things. She can follow instructions, she knows her shapes, she can point to "her letter" on a shirt or the magnet on the fridge, etc. She is such a smart kid. But somehow, those words need to come out. Help!!